Surviving the Holiday Season
Boundaries and the Holidays
In U.S. culture, the winter holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration, cheer, excitement, fun and magic! However, that isn’t always everyone’s experience.
For some people, the holiday season can create a lot of stress, sadness, tension and feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Overconsumption of sugar, alcohol and food are also a part of the holiday culture, which can lead to substantial weight gain, substance abuse issues and imbalances once the holidays are over.
People becoming triggered is a very natural and common occurrence during the holiday season.
Things like family gatherings; childhood memories, societal expectations, family estrangement, relationship pressures and financial pressure can trigger overwhelming emotions.
It’s important to set boundaries for yourself during the holidays. Boundaries are for your protection. Boundaries are limits, which you set for others to teach them what behavior IS and IS NOT acceptable towards you. It’s a line that you draw in your relationships.
Here are some Tips to Setting Boundaries During the Holidays
Schedule some rest time for yourself, even if it’s just 20 minutes to be by yourself.
Consider staying at a hotel or finding your own lodging if you don’t want to go back to your childhood home, especially if it triggers you or brings back unpleasant memories that you’re not prepared to handle.
Set reasonable limits on gift giving and gift giving costs.
Bring your own dishes if your diet choices aren’t in alignment with what everyone else is eating. For example, if you’re eating vegan, but your family is not, bring dishes that you like and can eat instead of being left out of the holiday menu.
Notice when you’re sacrificing your own needs to appease someone else or make someone else comfortable.
Notice your triggers and who triggers you. Then, limit the time you’re with these emotionally charged individuals.
Learn to say “NO”. Instead you can say, “That doesn’t work for me.” or “Thank you but I’m unable to commit to that, thanks for thinking of me.” or “I don’t have the space for that.”
Avoid overplanning activities. If you’re exhausted and tired, you’ll miss the joyful moments.
Think about past holidays. Set 3 boundaries this year based on past experiences.
You’re ONLY responsible for yourself, so notice when you’re taking on other people’s problems.